Today is codependency class day, which means that it is Narcissist Ed day on my blog. I have ironed out my “schedule,” and I will do my narc posts on Mondays. I picked the thrill-of-the-chase narcissist to discuss today. Every narcissist has some of these tendencies. In fact, every man has some of these tendencies. The TOTC narcissist takes them to a whole new level, however.
The thrill-of-the-chase narcissist is one of the worst kinds because you will actually believe that he is head-over-heels in love with you. Ha-ha! Wrong! This barbaric narc will drop you like a hot potato when you need him the most. This narcissist is obsessed with what he cannot have, and he is highly repulsed by what he can have. Understand? No? Well, let me say it to you again:
This narcissist is obsessed with what he cannot have, and he is highly repulsed by what he can have.
He will move in on a married woman who is not getting any (or enough) emotional output or attention from her spouse. He will intrude on a woman who is already in a relationship with another narcissist—or better yet—a nice guy. He will stalk her, terrorize her or play nicey nice with her for as long as it takes him to “get her.”
He will pretend to be her “best friend” or her “knight in shining armor,” which I just realized is satan’s weak version of a “savior.” The TOTC narc will do whatever works to capture his victim because his self-worth depends on it. If he has to marry his victim just to capture her, he will do just that. Believe me; I’ve been previously victimized by such narcissists. Marriage certificates mean nothing to these people, as they think they are above judicial laws and God’s laws, as well. A God-loving person may sin against God, but she will feel horrible about it to the point of unhealthiness. A narcissist will sin against God, burp, and then move on to the next victim.
Unfortunately, some of these TOTC narcs are hard to decode until it’s too late, especially if one does not have her Jesus jumpsuit all the way on. A victim of this cold-hearted narcissist usually doesn’t find out the truth until she experiences his abandonment and feels the devastation. Then satan will get a hold on the victim if she does not turn to the Lord for immediate assistance. She will experience instability, depression and other such beatings. A narc victim should never try to go through all that stuff alone.
The Thrill-of-the-Chase Narcissist Will Do the Following Barbaric Activities to His Victim:
Ignore her/ put her on the shelf right after he marries her
Immediately start physical/emotional/sexual/verbal abuse on the wedding night
Start cheating with new women/ex-girlfriends shortly after the wedding
Abandon her when she is hospitalized
Leave her while she is pregnant
Leave her over a material item
Leave her because mommy said so
Leave her just for GP
Ignore her when she is clearly depressed (in hopes that she will kill herself)
Disappear during a major crisis such as a job loss, near-death experience or neighborhood shooting fest
Be all too eager to give up and “start life over” at the first sign of a marital problem
The thrill-of-the-chase narcissist thinks that he is a mini-god. He wants his victim to direct all of her attention/devotion/adoration to him and only him. If she is in love with someone else, he will try to steal her love, even if he himself is married or with someone else. This type of narcissist has deeply rooted emotional issues, and he is coping with them by conducting satan’s works. He will try to bring you down into the pit.
Please hand such a person a copy of the Gospel and then steer clear of him. He will do nothing but pull you down or beat you down so that you will feel just like he feels inside.
As previously stated, you should love and care about these persons as a human beings, but don’t get that confused with trying to love them in relationships. I do not hate narcissists, but I’m telling you that it will not work. You cannot help true narcissists. The only way you can help them is by directing them to Jesus. The only way you can help yourself is by devoting your entire heart to Jesus.
Once you devote your entire heart to Jesus, you will know who the narcs are because they will back off of you. They know they are nothing like Jesus Christ, and they will most likely not be willing to convert to full and real Christianity, which would require them to worship someone other than themselves. A “Christian” narcissist still might try to slip in on you, but I’ll discuss him next week. In my opinion, there is no such a thing as a Christian narcissist. The terms are contradictory. There is, however, a narcissist who pretends to be a Christian so that he can take advantage of Christians. I was married to one, and I knew one personally, as well.
Jesus will protect you from the narcissists. He is much stronger than they are. However, he is a complete gentleman who will not get involved in your life so long as you think you can deal with them yourself. He doesn’t abandon you, but He doesn’t bombard you either. He will stand there and let you fall on your face as long as it takes you to get a clue, lol.
He will help you if you sincerely ask. He will give you unconditional love that radiates to your heart the same way that your genuine love radiates to His heart. He will help you to see the narcs for who they really are so you can steer clear of them. You will need nothing. In fact, the last thing you will be thinking about is a relationship because you will have a full relationship with the Lord. He may send you the perfect mate one day, but you will be just as content if He never sends you anyone at all, lol.