Strange Obstacles

I was unable to get to my codependency class because of a tragic accident that occurred on the main highway. The first thought I had was, “That dang devil!” There was no getting on the highway for me. I tried for almost two hours because I was trying to be a warrior, but there were hundreds of cars in the way, and the highway was actually closed for quite some time. I didn’t get upset. I just realized that I have no control over certain obstacles at this time. Honestly, I go to the codependency class for the lady fellowship more than the lessons. I think I already received the hard knocks version of the codependency class. I did miss the women. Hopefully there won’t be a catastrophe next week.

I later found out that four people were killed in yesterday’s accident. I hope they were with the Lord.

I came home, prayed and read the Bible. I finally got through Deuteronomy. I am on Chronicles 1 now, and I’m just like, “Wow.” Those loooong name lists, lol. I’m dragging on finishing the Old Testament. I enjoy reading the New Testament stuff repeatedly, and I like re-reading Proverbs and Psalms. I have to finish Chronicles 1 and 2 before I can say that I read the complete KJV though.

I have read many of the Apocryphal books along with some other “unofficial” and un-included material in my spare time. I am interested in reading the “Gospel of Mary” just to see what it’s like. I am a very curious person.

Other than that, I have just been relaxing. I have a volunteer event tomorrow, and I will probably not have time to post. I had a contemporary gospel tune in my head today, and it has been there since Sunday. It’s called “Lay Me Down” by Chris Tomlin. I found myself singing the song numerous times today. The song will not leave my head. I’m about ready to whip out the microphone to see what I actually sound like singing this tune. It’s time for me to get some practice.

The Thrill-of-the-Chase Narcissist

Today is codependency class day, which means that it is Narcissist Ed day on my blog. I have ironed out my “schedule,” and I will do my narc posts on Mondays. I picked the thrill-of-the-chase narcissist to discuss today. Every narcissist has some of these tendencies. In fact, every man has some of these tendencies. The TOTC narcissist takes them to a whole new level, however.

The thrill-of-the-chase narcissist is one of the worst kinds because you will actually believe that he is head-over-heels in love with you. Ha-ha! Wrong! This barbaric narc will drop you like a hot potato when you need him the most. This narcissist is obsessed with what he cannot have, and he is highly repulsed by what he can have. Understand? No? Well, let me say it to you again:

This narcissist is obsessed with what he cannot have, and he is highly repulsed by what he can have.

He will move in on a married woman who is not getting any (or enough) emotional output or attention from her spouse. He will intrude on a woman who is already in a relationship with another narcissist—or better yet—a nice guy. He will stalk her, terrorize her or play nicey nice with her for as long as it takes him to “get her.”

He will pretend to be her “best friend” or her “knight in shining armor,” which I just realized is satan’s weak version of a “savior.” The TOTC narc will do whatever works to capture his victim because his self-worth depends on it. If he has to marry his victim just to capture her, he will do just that. Believe me; I’ve been previously victimized by such narcissists. Marriage certificates mean nothing to these people, as they think they are above judicial laws and God’s laws, as well. A God-loving person may sin against God, but she will feel horrible about it to the point of unhealthiness. A narcissist will sin against God, burp, and then move on to the next victim.

Unfortunately, some of these TOTC narcs are hard to decode until it’s too late, especially if one does not have her Jesus jumpsuit all the way on. A victim of this cold-hearted narcissist usually doesn’t find out the truth until she experiences his abandonment and feels the devastation. Then satan will get a hold on the victim if she does not turn to the Lord for immediate assistance. She will experience instability, depression and other such beatings. A narc victim should never try to go through all that stuff alone.

The Thrill-of-the-Chase Narcissist Will Do the Following Barbaric Activities to His Victim:

Ignore her/ put her on the shelf right after he marries her

Immediately start physical/emotional/sexual/verbal abuse on the wedding night

Start cheating with new women/ex-girlfriends shortly after the wedding

Abandon her when she is hospitalized

Leave her while she is pregnant

Leave her over a material item

Leave her because mommy said so

Leave her just for GP

Ignore her when she is clearly depressed (in hopes that she will kill herself)

Disappear during a major crisis such as a job loss, near-death experience or neighborhood shooting fest

Be all too eager to give up and “start life over” at the first sign of a marital problem

The thrill-of-the-chase narcissist thinks that he is a mini-god. He wants his victim to direct all of her attention/devotion/adoration to him and only him. If she is in love with someone else, he will try to steal her love, even if he himself is married or with someone else. This type of narcissist has deeply rooted emotional issues, and he is coping with them by conducting satan’s works. He will try to bring you down into the pit.

Please hand such a person a copy of the Gospel and then steer clear of him. He will do nothing but pull you down or beat you down so that you will feel just like he feels inside.

As previously stated, you should love and care about these persons as a human beings, but don’t get that confused with trying to love them in relationships. I do not hate narcissists, but I’m telling you that it will not work. You cannot help true narcissists. The only way you can help them is by directing them to Jesus. The only way you can help yourself is by devoting your entire heart to Jesus.

Once you devote your entire heart to Jesus, you will know who the narcs are because they will back off of you. They know they are nothing like Jesus Christ, and they will most likely not be willing to convert to full and real Christianity, which would require them to worship someone other than themselves. A “Christian” narcissist still might try to slip in on you, but I’ll discuss him next week. In my opinion, there is no such a thing as a Christian narcissist. The terms are contradictory. There is, however, a narcissist who pretends to be a Christian so that he can take advantage of Christians. I was married to one, and I knew one personally, as well.

Jesus will protect you from the narcissists. He is much stronger than they are. However, he is a complete gentleman who will not get involved in your life so long as you think you can deal with them yourself. He doesn’t abandon you, but He doesn’t bombard you either. He will stand there and let you fall on your face as long as it takes you to get a clue, lol.

He will help you if you sincerely ask. He will give you unconditional love that radiates to your heart the same way that your genuine love radiates to His heart. He will help you to see the narcs for who they really are so you can steer clear of them. You will need nothing. In fact, the last thing you will be thinking about is a relationship because you will have a full relationship with the Lord. He may send you the perfect mate one day, but you will be just as content if He never sends you anyone at all, lol.

The Nix List

I’ve been having a good ole time nixing things that I don’t need or want. I am having an absolute blast tossing the devil’s little toys back at him. It is fun. Electronics, video games, tablets and various toys: gone or in the process of going! I only keep what I need for work or communications. J now has only a normal amount of “little boy things” rather than the mound of idolatry that certain people thrust upon him.

I removed my labret jewelry today. GASP! Pretty radical, huh? I did not feel convicted about having the labret jewelry in until I openly admitted that I liked it a lot, lol. Then I felt compelled to remove it to prove my devotion. I didn’t have to, but I did. I could have been reluctant, but why? What really made me crack down and take it out was the WWJD concept. What would Jesus do?

Jesus would not wear facial jewelry. He loves us with or without our facial jewelry, however. It’s a personal choice for everyone. No one has to do it, nor am I suggesting that everyone remove his or her facial jewelry. I did it because I wanted to show that these trendy items and concepts don’t really have that much of a hold on me after all. I have been allowing my gray hair to show, as well. I only have about three gray hairs, but now I would like more of them to emerge. I’m not a teenager, and besides, gray hair is a crown of glory. I want it, tee-hee.

I will be continuing my “don’t touch the narcissists” series next week. I think people should have a true look at “the narcissist” so they know not to play in the fire. I can only stand talking about those fellas once a week, however.

A Biblical Description of the Narcissist

2 Timothy 3 King James Version (KJV)

3 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,

7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

That passage describes the narcissist and his victims perfectly. Those who read the entire Bible will have the wisdom to protect themselves from such people. Those who have half of a Biblical education will be devoured and battered by such people. The last part of the passage describes exactly what happened to me. I became a frequent narcissist delicacy because I didn’t read the entire Bible. I was a weakling who didn’t really know how to develop, and once the narcs got to me, they surely didn’t try to encourage my spiritual development, lol. Additionally, I didn’t repent frequently. Therefore, I was a silly girl/woman who was “laden with sins” and too immature and ignorant to realize that evil was coming in for the kill. I only had part of the Christian ideals right. I truly did care for everyone, but I cared for the wrong people at the expense of my own spiritual health. I cared for them to the point of disobedience. I was the epitome of a Biblical silly woman.

All I ever wanted was love. I never desired their physical expressions of lust, and I certainly didn’t desire physical, verbal or emotional abuse. I just wanted to get back the same love that I was cranking out. I wanted real love. Unfortunately, I got caught up in a seemingly never-ending cycle of trying to squeeze milk from a rock. The narcissist does not return love for love. He just takes whatever you give him, and many times, he will beat you down worse because you are such a loving person. The truth is that he hates you if you are compassionate in any way. He doesn’t want to be with you; he wants to hurt you. This is what many women fail to understand.

The narcissist wants nothing more than to see you to die. He will laugh at your pain, leave you at your deathbed, desert you for an immoral person and then try to come back (heh?), etc. If you are a believer, then he will find delight in leading you straight to hell. I’m being real. Narcissists are nothing to play with. God is the only entity that can “fix a narcissist.” All you can do is pray for such a one, and stay as far away from it as possible. The No Contact Rule practice can help you with that. As a Christian, you have to forgive the narcissist to stay spiritually balanced, but you don’t have to touch it or absorb any of its darkness.

Jesus has all the love you need. He will accept you despite your imperfections, and He will never abandon you. If you are having difficulties with a narcissist, you must seek help from the Lord. I know it’s rough being married to one as I was married to one before. You will find strength and healing in Christ, but you can’t be shy about asking Him for it. Your sins are forgiven.

My next post will describe several narcissistic types that I have come across in my lifetime. It may help you to recognize some of them. I had the displeasure of dealing with a veteran female narc and several male narcs. Hopefully, my post will help you to avoid going through what I went through.

In closing, I will say to read your Bible and pray every day. Lack of knowledge is a real Spirit quencher.

Domestic Violence/Abuse Recovery Ministry

Today has been a day of rest for me. I was so peaceful that I kept falling asleep all over the place. I almost fell asleep in church today. We didn’t have the regular “radio personality” pastor today. We had a different one. He wasn’t boring. He had a good sense of humor as he spoke about gluttony. However, his voice was a bit too calm, lol.

I want you to know that I’m not arrogant, and I don’t think I know it all. As I said, I dealt with a lot of judgmental people over the years. I’ve observed many conservative Christians, and I have witnessed a great deal of hypocrisies in my day. Hypocrisy has a way of making people not want to come forward with their faith, especially if they feel bad about dishonoring the Lord in some way. One of the worst feelings in the world is to have guilt about dishonoring God and then have a bunch of people look down on you, too.

Don’t take offense if I write something that speaks out to those people who judged me or assumed that I wasn’t a “real Christian” because of my mistakes, my immaturity, or somesuch man-made procedural criteria. You never know what’s truly in another person’s heart or mind unless he or she tells you. You can draw your conclusions, but they will most likely be incorrect. I always wanted to be the person that I am today, and I still want to grow to be even better. I was stuck struggling in the world for a while, but I never fit in. It was weird. I took so many hiatuses/retreats over the years because I did not fit in, and I kept getting beat up out there. I went ahead and made my retreat permanent in late 2013, lol. See how much better I am now?

And no, the Lord doesn’t speak to me with an audible voice, nor did I say He did. He speaks to me through His Spirit and His heart. I have felt “words” of love, joy, safety warning, and sadness/disappointment at times throughout my life. I know when I’ve broken His heart, and I do not want ever to do that again.

Nowadays, I just want to spread the good news, and I would like to help women who have been abused. I can do it at a church, in a domestic violence shelter, at a recovery center, online, on the phone, or by some other means. I want to share the knowledge that I have about persons who target compassionate, merciful, and forgiving women for destruction. The women do not have to be Christian to receive my help. I have secular training and religious training as well as a heap of personal experience. The Christian “theories” make the most sense to me , but my primary goal is to help people. Therefore, I wouldn’t turn anyone away. I want to help these women so they can avoid and/or detach from “narcissists.” I’m a minister, and I would like to care for people in that manner.

How to Claim Your Free Ticket to Heaven

Now that I’ve gotten all that out of the way, I will write a short post that explains how you can get Jesus involved in your life and be saved. It’s absolutely necessary as we all are approaching the end times. God is only going to extend this offer for so long, then it’s a wrap. Everyone out there has the opportunity to turn away from sin, repent and submit to the Lord Jesus. The process of doing such is not “a hassle” as you may think, and what you will get is far better than anything that the world can offer you. You will get peace, happiness and everlasting life.

Money, fame and material items are only temporary, and they will not fulfill you the way that the Lord can. You were designed to have a relationship with the Creator, and nothing else will do. Artificial happiness will only cause a deeper hole in your soul that you will continue to run around trying to fill. The Lord can truly alleviate all of your pain and fill all your voids. Additionally, you will receive a “get out of hell for free” card. Would you like that? Great! Then here is what you will need to do as per the Bible and

1. Admit that you are a sinner.
The Bible says, “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

2. Know that God has already provided for your salvation.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son [Jesus Christ] that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).

3. Know that you cannot save yourself.
“Not by works of righteousness which we have done but according to his mercy he saved us” (Titus 3:5).

4. Repent of your sins.
“Except ye repent ye shall all likewise perish” (Luke 13:3).

5. Ask Jesus Christ to save you.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved” (Romans 10:13) and “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved” (Acts 16:31).

6. Proclaim Jesus before others.
“If thou shall confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shall be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness: and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation” (Romans 10:9, 10).

I would strongly suggest that you get baptized in water, as well. People argue left and right about whether baptism is required for salvation or initiation into Christendom. It’s a direct command whether it is required for salvation or not. Jesus did it, and he was without sin. He was setting an example for all of his followers. There should be no opposition to such a procedure. Some people in the Bible were saved without being baptized, but those were extreme circumstances.

As for what prayers to say, you can use a generic prayer, or you can just talk to Jesus. He’s listening, and most of the process takes less than five minutes. Sincerity and belief are the keys to making this work. Are you really sorry for the sins? Do you really believe that Jesus is the Christ? Do you believe that He is the way, the truth, and the life? Do you believe in his death, burial, and resurrection? Are you willing to allow Him to change you? Would you like to experience peace? If so, then this is the right step for you.

Good night.

Spiritual Immaturity: The Carnal Christian

I will be busy most of the day, but I wanted to share a website that I found with everyone. I found it during a random search. I couldn’t “reblog” it, so I had to quote some of the material and then post a link in case anyone is interested in visiting. It’s about spiritual immaturity. I write all the time that I was always a Christian. Many people could not tell because I was spiritually immature and quiet about it. I dealt with my issues in silence, and I didn’t feel that I had the right to speak Christ’s name out of my mouth at the time.

I was what one may call the carnal or worldly Christian, although I cannot stand the term worldly. I didn’t feel that I was worldly, but I certainly did participate in some worldly activities in the past for various reasons. Some were my fault, and some were not. The thing that I always have to remember is that I do have a choice. However, I am much stronger now that I am being fully led by the Holy Spirit. I did feel convicted when I sinned in the past, but I did what my heart desired anyway, which was very very bad.

My Christian therapist helped me to tap into the Spirit full blast. It took her about three sentences to do such. She asked me why this one sin was bothering me so much, and then she told me what I needed to do about it. That was it. I have been wonderful ever since, and we’re done, lol. I wanted to share this piece by Bill Bright (deceased producer of the film “Jesus”) because it can help some Christians who are struggling spiritually due to lack of knowledge or lack of trust.

This is a large excerpt from the site:

“In 1 Corinthians 3, Paul describes a worldly, carnal believer as one who acts like a non-Christian. Although the worldly believer has received Christ, he also has allowed his Flesh nature to reclaim the throne through sin. God still has possession of this person, and Christ is still in his life, but the individual has fallen into sin in one or more areas of his life.

Not yielded to God, the worldly believer is usually a miserable person — even more miserable than the non-Christian. He is in a period of stunted spiritual growth because he is not confessing and repenting of his sins, and satan has succeeded in influencing and controlling him through the Flesh.

Paul wrote to the Christians of Corinth:

Dear brothers, I have been talking to you as though you were still just babies in the Christian life, who are not following the Lord, but your own desires; I cannot talk to you as I would to healthy Christians, who are filled with the Spirit. I have had to feed you with milk and not with solid food, because you couldn’t digest anything stronger. And even now you still have to be fed on milk. For you are still only baby Christians, controlled by your own desires, not God’s …In fact, you are acting like people who don’t belong to the Lord at all.

The worldly or carnal Christian certainly experiences the conviction of the Holy Spirit and will not continue in his sins indefinitely; otherwise, he is possibly not a Christian at all. But defeated and fruitless, he depends on self-effort to live the Christian life instead of drawing on the supernatural, inexhaustible resources of the Holy Spirit. Grasping self interest in one hand and groping for God’s blessing with the other, this person fails again and again to live the Christian life in the fullness and power of the Holy Spirit.”

Click here to read more from the CRU website